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Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Power of Nice: A Smile For Your Service
Column By: Kate Lewis
Charles MacPherson, this month’s Arbiter Elegantiarum, trains those who provide a service on a very personal level. He trains those who will become part of a staff to wait on someone hand and foot, as they say. Understandably, a certain amount of his training deals with etiquette. Making introductions, serving the dinner table, escorting guests, and making polite conversation are the sort of etiquette skills Mr. MacPherson teaches his brood.
But, what about etiquette from the other side of the fence? What about the etiquette of the person being served? Does it matter how we treat those who treat us so well? Take a look at the following excerpt from my book The Civilized Minute for the Professional due out at the end of the year. Your behavior toward those who offer their service tell a great deal about your core values.
It’s disheartening to see a co-worker who you thought was a “nice guy” act in a condescending way towards his wife. Or, to see the company president ignore the doorman’s assistance when the CFO idles up for a chat. Someone is always watching and WILL catch you acting like a turkey.
The way you behave toward one – no matter who that “one” is – is the way you should behave toward all. It’s very telling about a person’s character if they are curt towards the wait staff at a restaurant. The impression given is that person has a sense of entitlement and not everyone enjoys the level of attention he does. Gag. We are all just people who do a job for a living.
Acting impolitely toward certain people (namely, those who provide you some sort of service – trash man, postal carrier, school teachers, servers, etc.) does 2 things:
1) It takes the focus off your work and puts it on you. People will begin to associate your name with your arrogant behavior and not your work.
2) It makes people question your character and motives. Personally, I don’t want to go on a business trip with someone who I know is rude because I would curl up and die if he acted badly towards the potential customers we were to court. AND, how do I know he wouldn’t throw me under the bus if the situation got sticky?
If you think you may have trouble remembering this concept, just think of The Golden Rule. That sums it up better than I can, anyway.
Cocktails & Canape: Everyday Celebrations
Take stock of what’s happening around you.
I’ll bet you can come up with a reason to celebrate. Don’t wait for the typical excuses like weddings, graduations and new arrivals. Any ole reason will do: it’s Hump Day, you went to the gym twice this week, you woke up this morning! Pearly Bay Celebration sparkling wine is just the ticket to help you feel celebratory. Priced at about $10 a bottle, you will not be able to resist the pop of the top and the slightly sweet fizz as it hits your tongue.
We settled on no good reason at all to have a Pearly Bay Celebration recently and paired this treasure with a favorite summertime nibble, Pancetta Pear Cups.
Ingredients
1 package pancetta
1 pear, chopped into bite size pieces
Honey
Goat cheese
Quarter each slice of pancetta and line the cups of a mini-muffin pan with each quarter sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 5-7 minutes. Pancetta will bake in the shape of cup. Remove gently. Let cool. Place a piece of pear inside cup. If you chop pear ahead of time, toss with lemon juice so it won’t brown. Top pear with ½ teaspoon goat cheese. Drizzle with honey.
Article by: Kate Lewis
Article by: Kate Lewis
Page Turner: Winston & Clementine
"Winston & Clementine:
The Personal Letters of The Churchhills"
The Personal Letters of The Churchhills"
Amazon Says . . .
"I seize this fleeting hour of leisure to write and tell you how much I liked our long talk on Sunday," Winston Churchill wrote to Clementine Hozier in April 1908, shortly after their third meeting, "and what a comfort and pleasure it was to me to meet a girl with so much intellectual quality and such strong reserves of noble sentiment." They were married by September; he was 29, she 19. They would remain married--though, due to political circumstances, they were not always together--until his death in 1965. During that time, their daughter Mary Soames remarks, some 1,700 items of personal correspondence passed between the two. Winston and Clementine is far from a complete collection, but it does offer a comprehensive overview of their epistolary relationship and the deep love and mutual respect upon which their marriage was based. It may be somewhat disconcerting to see the man who stirred a nation to war with "blood, toil, tears, and sweat" and other memorable phrases sending "kisses to my sweet and beloved Clemmie cat," yet it also makes the imposing statesman seem more human.
Sometimes Clementine would send written messages to Winston even when they were together; it was an opportunity to gather her thoughts, or avoid taking up her husband's time with arguments when he was busy managing the war. In June 1940, for example, she told him that "there is a danger of your being generally disliked by your colleagues and subordinates because of your rough sarcastic and overbearing manner.... I cannot bear that those who serve the Country and yourself should not love you as well as admire and respect you." A few of the letters are accompanied by little cartoon animals that they would draw for each other: she always drew the posterior view of a sitting cat, while he would sketch pug dogs, and later pigs. Even toward the end, when they both had to deal with increased infirmity and tragedies among their children, they still found time to send "little love messages" to each other. Looking back at their marriage, with Soames's edifying commentary sprinkled throughout (as well as a quite well-done biographical dictionary), is an experience both revealing and touching.
Arbiter Elegantiarum: Charles MacPherson
Who is a role model that you have looked to in cultivating your sense of style? What would you consider to be their “secret ingredient”?
Firstly, I must acknowledge my Grandmother, Mother and Father who were all enormous influences on me. Outside of my immediate family, I believe it was my second employers Messrs Barette and Pearce who taught me style at a commercial hospitality level that to this day is still my measuring stick both personally and professionally. It all comes down to two things; first “attention to detail” and second “scale”. With both of these items suitably addressed, everything else falls into place no matter what your style!
Who is a role model that you have looked to in cultivating a life of substance? What would you consider to be their “secret ingredient”?
Two people in particular come to mind. First is Maya Angelou who I respect as someone who is cultured, influential, intelligent, smart, fun and a “bon vivant”. Professionally, Leticia Baldridge comes to mind. She is someone who is fearless while dealing with world leaders as she demonstrates that self confidence and kindness can help to overcome challenges and difficulty in the world of diplomacy!
If you could go beyond a company's marketing chatter, what would you really like to know about them when you are deciding on a business deal? How do you gauge their level of style and substance?
There are so many amazing companies out there. From a list of my favourite companies I would love to peak behind the magic curtain of Apple Computers. I want to know how they determine function, elegance, style and train their employees to this standard. For me I marvel at their consistency and believe that it presents a model more companies should strive to achieve!
What is the most important piece of advice that you would offer College Grads entering today's job market? How can they put their best foot forward? How can they take advantage of volunteer opportunities to cultivate business contacts?
1. Be yourself
2. Never impede your thirst for knowledge
3. Do not fear graciousness and manners; they have allowed me a fabulous life
If you could change one thing about your style, what would it be? When you consider your priorities, is there anything that you would change if you had more time or resources?
I don’t think I would change anything about my style. Is that pretentious of me? Perhaps I could learn to do a better job of editing … remember “less is more” and I sometimes fail at that particular lesson.
Monday, May 10, 2010
The Power of Nice: 3 Things That Keep Me Nice
If you could pin someone down and ask them why they might behave badly, I bet you would get a wide range of answers. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, so I turned the question on myself. What makes me behave, uh-hum, unfavorably?
My answers were not pretty, nor mature, nor rational. I was forced into realizations that were even a bit uncomfortable. I am 38 years old and it still puts me in a bad mood when it’s really humid and my hair won’t act right. I think nasty thoughts about my children if they eat all of my favorite potato chips before I have some. I even get irritated about going to church on Sunday mornings if I’ve not had all the coffee I’d like.
Now, since I’ve divulged all this about myself, I’d prefer not to hear another word about it. I’m working on these… and many others.
I do, however, have 3 tactics to share that keep me on my best-behavior toes.
1) I use the myAgenda like I use oxygen. Feeling like I’ve overlooked something or realizing I’m late for an appointment because I’d forgotten about it puts me on the fast track to irritation. This compact calendar offers space to keep up with even the smallest details. It’s Murphy’s Law that says when I’m at my desk, I need what’s in my car and vice versa. Just by having a one-stop-shop for everything from appointments to book titles to passwords lets my mind be free of the burden of trying to remember where that post-it note went. I highly recommend this as a way to keep your thoughts and commitments organized.
2) Finding time for myself nearly every single day gives me the time I need to keep my perspective. Often, when we run across someone who is “having a moment”, we think something like, ‘It’s just a red light. Your screaming and ranting is not going to make it change to green any faster. And, really, doesn’t a red light last only a minute or two?’ Perspective. It’s the magic potion for irrational reactions to everyday situations. Your own strategy for finding and keeping perspective may be a jog, hanging with your children or even reading a book. The secret is to figure out what works for you and do it.
3) I go outside. The fresh air, the sounds, the sights…aahhh. It’s a distraction, pure and simple. To walk outside is to take a break from all the visual reminders of things to do. After a few short minutes of Vitamin D, I’m revived with a new attitude. It is said the lack of Vitamin D contributes to Seasonal Affective Disorder in which people experience depression due to the lack of sunlight. Anais Nin, a French author, said “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Our state of mind makes a difference when it comes to behavior, so let a little light in!
Whatever your own tactics are, just be sure to use them with regularity. Why wouldn’t you use anything at your disposal to put your best foot forward? So, put a smile on your face and a skip in your step and, of course, be nice.
I do, however, have 3 tactics to share that keep me on my best-behavior toes.
1) I use the myAgenda like I use oxygen. Feeling like I’ve overlooked something or realizing I’m late for an appointment because I’d forgotten about it puts me on the fast track to irritation. This compact calendar offers space to keep up with even the smallest details. It’s Murphy’s Law that says when I’m at my desk, I need what’s in my car and vice versa. Just by having a one-stop-shop for everything from appointments to book titles to passwords lets my mind be free of the burden of trying to remember where that post-it note went. I highly recommend this as a way to keep your thoughts and commitments organized.
2) Finding time for myself nearly every single day gives me the time I need to keep my perspective. Often, when we run across someone who is “having a moment”, we think something like, ‘It’s just a red light. Your screaming and ranting is not going to make it change to green any faster. And, really, doesn’t a red light last only a minute or two?’ Perspective. It’s the magic potion for irrational reactions to everyday situations. Your own strategy for finding and keeping perspective may be a jog, hanging with your children or even reading a book. The secret is to figure out what works for you and do it.
3) I go outside. The fresh air, the sounds, the sights…aahhh. It’s a distraction, pure and simple. To walk outside is to take a break from all the visual reminders of things to do. After a few short minutes of Vitamin D, I’m revived with a new attitude. It is said the lack of Vitamin D contributes to Seasonal Affective Disorder in which people experience depression due to the lack of sunlight. Anais Nin, a French author, said “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Our state of mind makes a difference when it comes to behavior, so let a little light in!
Whatever your own tactics are, just be sure to use them with regularity. Why wouldn’t you use anything at your disposal to put your best foot forward? So, put a smile on your face and a skip in your step and, of course, be nice.
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