The Power of Nice: A Smile For Your Service

Column By: Kate Lewis

Charles MacPherson, this month’s Arbiter Elegantiarum, trains those who provide a service on a very personal level. He trains those who will become part of a staff to wait on someone hand and foot, as they say. Understandably, a certain amount of his training deals with etiquette. Making introductions, serving the dinner table, escorting guests, and making polite conversation are the sort of etiquette skills Mr. MacPherson teaches his brood.

But, what about etiquette from the other side of the fence? What about the etiquette of the person being served? Does it matter how we treat those who treat us so well? Take a look at the following excerpt from my book The Civilized Minute for the Professional due out at the end of the year. Your behavior toward those who offer their service tell a great deal about your core values.

It’s disheartening to see a co-worker who you thought was a “nice guy” act in a condescending way towards his wife. Or, to see the company president ignore the doorman’s assistance when the CFO idles up for a chat. Someone is always watching and WILL catch you acting like a turkey.

The way you behave toward one – no matter who that “one” is – is the way you should behave toward all. It’s very telling about a person’s character if they are curt towards the wait staff at a restaurant. The impression given is that person has a sense of entitlement and not everyone enjoys the level of attention he does. Gag. We are all just people who do a job for a living.

Acting impolitely toward certain people (namely, those who provide you some sort of service – trash man, postal carrier, school teachers, servers, etc.) does 2 things:

1) It takes the focus off your work and puts it on you. People will begin to associate your name with your arrogant behavior and not your work.

2) It makes people question your character and motives. Personally, I don’t want to go on a business trip with someone who I know is rude because I would curl up and die if he acted badly towards the potential customers we were to court. AND, how do I know he wouldn’t throw me under the bus if the situation got sticky?

If you think you may have trouble remembering this concept, just think of The Golden Rule. That sums it up better than I can, anyway.